June 21, 2004
The Longest Day
In every country church yesterday, half the population was praying for at least another week of dry sunny weather so that they can save the hay and the turf. The other half were praying that it lashes rain so that there’ll be enough grass for a second cut of silage and enough water in the streams and drains for thirsty cattle. It’s not looking good for pagans either – today is the summer solstice, one of the few days when a bit of sunshine would be welcome. Hard luck, lads, maybe next year...
It hasn’t stopped at least half the population to tackle the sun problem with all the technology that money can buy. We’ll know there’s really an energy crisis when the supply of fake tan dries up, or the ESB needs to build another power station to drive all the tanning machines in the country - it’s only a matter of time before they are installed in pubs. (It’s only when you watch your wife pack a hair straightener beside the curling tongs for a holiday that you realize the extent of the beauty industry).
Any religion that depended on regular appearances of the sun was always going to find the going hard in Ireland. Mind you, since the country goes stone mad if there’s more than three sunny days in a row, maybe we’re as well off. The fair complexion of many of the natives does not cope well with sunshine. (I’m still convinced the king of the Vikings gathered all the albinos that couldn’t turn up for anything on time in the eight century, and ordered them to invade Ireland. And not to come back.). Our only hope for long-term survival is that, by the time that global warming has given the west of Ireland a Mediterranean climate, our gene pool will have been extended to include a few people who won’t change colour like a traffic light after twenty minutes out of the shade. (Now you’re sorry you voted NO in the referendum…).
Posted by Monasette at June 21, 2004 08:19 AM